The post where I talk about how far I have come with the lack of baby issue

1. I was actually able to laugh at the new Brooke Shield’s Volkswagen commercial.


2. I have been able to hear about my estranged sister-in-laws children without needing to go into the bathroom and cry. This is real progress.

3. I no longer have to pretend not to like children---I am in a new stage of actually finding them unlikable. Sorry to all of you mother's and father's. I feel sure one day I will like children again. Lately I just find them loud and annoying. I am the woman who is unsympathetic when your child cries and throws a scene in a restaurant. You can feel the energy I am sending you with my eyes, " can't you get that child under control and if not could you please leave." Please remember that I spent over $100,000 and went through countless procedures to have such a screaming, squirmy, and sticky thing of my own. So, some of my animus is my own issue and it is best to view my antipathy towards your toddler as pure envy.

4. I did not look at our new medical insurance policy to see if they would pay for me to go to Cornell and go through some painful and horrible procedures that would ultimately...not work. I did briefly look at their adoption benefits and then hurriedly moved onto what kind of psychotherapy benefits they provide.

5. I was able to finally read Petite Anglaise’s book. I had long been unable to even hear the word Tadpole with out sobbing that I would never have my own baby weasel. I didn’t even have to skip the paragraphs in which she described sweet and tender mother and child moments that would have usually unleashed a storm of tears.

6. I am at the point that I will take any one down who will tell me now that He-weasel has a good job and that I can relax that I will get pregnant. I mean, I cannot be responsible for what I do if you say this to me. What that will look like will be me screaming and making crazy eyes. But, this is a long ways from me wishing it were true. So, um, progress not perfection. Right?

7. I just recently paid off my last IVF cycle. And, it only was excruciatingly painful to pay money for something that didn't work. It was not torture. The difference between excruciatingly painful and torture may seen insignificant to you. However, there is a difference.