I have been through some serious stuff this last year. Really serious. I know it, you know it and the people at Walgreens who fill my Vitamin W prescription know it. I learned some news on Sunday that sent me into a state of absolute shock; nobody died and no one is sick. But, it was still a significant shock. It was so big that I went numb for almost 48 hours and was able to function as if nothing had happened. That is until today. Today the reality of this misfortune has struck and the scales of denial have slipped away.
As you know we have moved a few times in the last year, and all of my stuff was put into storage. For the last five months, I had only the most basic of my belongings. Some clothes, shoes, and cosmetics. Well, on Sunday I hit a bottom. I could no longer stand to be separated from my lovely shoes. I needed my shoes. So, He-weasel spent hours going through our storage unit looking for my shoes. I hope you are sitting for this. The shoes were nowhere to be found. My shoes are gone. My shoes are not lost, misplaced or otherwise temporarily separated from me----my shoes are gone. And, there is no insurance to cover this loss. I lost all of my best shoes( I only had summer shoes with me) and at least 45-50 pairs of irreplaceable and dearly loved shoes are forever gone.
I know that this last weekend people lost their homes and all of their belongings to the fires. Because of that I feel bad for complaining as I know they are just shoes. So please forgive me as I complain. I lost my favorite shoes. I lost the majority of my shoes. I lost the boots He-weasel bought me on our first Christmas together. I lost my darling leopard ballet flats with the pink trim. I lost all but three pairs of my red shoe collection. I lost my Prada pumps and all of my Cole Haan boots. My impressive collection of J Crew flats are forever gone. I even lost shoes I have yet to wear.
When we moved to Chicago my entire collection of Christmas ornaments were lost by the movers. When I was a little weasel each year my mother would take me to tea and afterwords we would go and pick an ornament. The movers lost each and everyone of these irreplaceable treasures as well as the collection of ornaments that He-weasel and I had given to each other over the years. Now I have lost my shoes. I think it is official. I am cursed.
I am open to hearing arguments on how I am not cursed. Before you make your argument please reread my post 22 reasons and please know I left some really big things off of that list. Just to give you a sense of my heart break, I spent four hours on Zappos, J Crew and Banana Republic trying to find a few pairs of shoes to start rebuilding my shoe wardrobe and I could not find one pair I want. I know, it’s serious.
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54 comments:
I am not saying this lightly, nor saying this in jest...
I am very sorry for your loss.
La Donna
Disappearing shoes are a serious matter. Can you imagine if I could not have my j crew flip flops and they did not make them anymore?
Once on a trip to Florida, I took a trash bag to put all my dirty clothes in after I wore them. Of course I packed only my favorite outfits, lingerie etc. Well, my friends husband evidently thought it was trash, because when I got ready to return home, that bag was GONE BABY GONE. I still think about it.
I am so sorry. My prayer is that they will turn up somewhere weird.
Gosh LBR! I am so sorry. You are really handling all of your loss and pain so tremendously. You should know that there are lots of people who care about you and want only the best for you, even here in our little blogosphere! The best is yet to come, darling :)
xoxox,
CC
I'm speechless, and feel for your loss. I just brought out my R.M. Williams boots from Australia for the upcoming onslaught of snow, and buffed them up to take on the elements in their one piece style. If anything ever happened to them, I would fly to Australia and have them replaced.
Hmmmm thinking about shoe insurance.
I know how I'd feel if all my favorite tunes disappeared, so believe me, ain't nothin' funny here.
Cursed? You might be. I'll refrain from snark because I don't want you angry enough to steal my favorite tunes in order to buy replacement shoes.
Dumb question, especially given how you guys didn't move just last week, but have you checked with the moving company? Someone fucked up, and someone should pay.
How horrible!!! It must feel a bit like losing a piece of yourself.
Bad, BAD Movers!!!!!! May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits.
that really, truly sucks.
randal graves is right - have you spoken to the storage company? I know nothing can replace the shoes or the memories that went with them, but maybe an appology will help? x
I'm gobsmacked. So much that I don't even know where "gobsmacked" came from, or what it means.
I am so sorry. Damn movers. Call them to complain, and maybe there's a small chance the box was turned in by someone else? We lost our wedding china when we moved here and about a year ago, they finally found it. Some of it, anyway.
Big hugs.
Christine
This weekend at the apartment, I realized I hadn't seen a favourite pair of (Paris-bought) shoes in a while and made a note to check when I got back home that they were indeed in the closet and not languishing at a repair shop months later. I felt a moment's panic thinking I might have misplaced them -- can't imagine how I'd feel if not only they but every pair of my shoes were simply gone. or don't want to imagine -- it's horrible! So sorry for you. I have no idea what you'll have to do for solace, but I hope you think of something good and treat yourself. Hugs!
Man, that sucks! You had some great shoes, too, by the description of it. Where could they be? Fifty pairs of shoes don't just disappear into thin air. I wonder what happened to them??
I lost a box of childhood Xmas ornaments during a move 15 years ago. Obviously, I haven't gotten over that one. Your loss is definitely worse, both of them.
Well, maybe there's a lesson in all of these losses this year, no?
xoxo --
M.
Really? Maybe, just maybe, they're still in storage hiding? . . . That stinks. Can you file an insurance claim?
But seriously, hang onto the memory of the shoes, but don't try to replace them. Instead, take the opportunity to look afresh at your shoe wardrobe (trying to put a Thoreau-ian spin on this incident).
I suffered a punch to the gut this weekend, but it was nothing like losing beloved shoes.
I would be screaming my head off.
I can't even start to put into words how upset I'd be if I lost my shoes. And I wouldn't know how to start to replace them. I'm so sorry - this loss is very sad and very frustrating.
Thank you for the kind comment on my blog - it means a lot to me.
Good God! Where did the shoes run off to? How terrible! (By the way, I believe I accidentally threw out four brand-new silver pendants last week.)
Mes condoleances, Belette.
I understand about grieving the loss of shoes.
At least it wasn't your fault. Before moving to Paris I sold my new pair of Ferragamo leopard print ballerina flats at a consignment store. What was I thinking???
That was 3 years ago, and I still mourn their loss AND flagellate myself for my stupidity.
I can't friggin believe this.
I, too, worship at the shoe altar and I know EXACTLY how effed up your news is.
Oh, honey, I am SO sorry.
Just wondering...what shoe size do you wear?
XO
Anna
oh no... i think i will flip out if all my shoes are gone accidentally. i know there are bigger things in life, but still... i hope you can try to rebuilt your inventory.
oh no...that's just horrible. Shoes {as well as some clothes} are a collection, acquired over years and phases of life. I'm so sorry they {along with your ornaments} have vanished. Maybe ...just maybe he-weasel just didn't look hard enough ...as most men don't. Maybe you should go check it out yourself? You never know what you'll find.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My heart fell into my stomach when I read this. I hope against hope that they will show up unexpectedly in the next few days. And if they don't, that you don't decide to lay down in traffic. Oh hon, this is tragic. And I say that without a trace of sarcasm.
Oh, La Belette - how much can one person be put through??
However, as you said, none of it happens for a reason, and I am sure you are not cursed whatsoever.
Here's hoping that you've got some serious shoe candy coming your way. xx
No Effing way! Miss La B, Miss J is so sorry to read this bad news. It's easy to say, "They were just shoes", but Miss J knows the significance. Sometimes a shoe is more than just a shoe. A shoe is the whole story of how you came to have it, and how it served you, and the places you wore it and the places you intended to wear it and who gave it to you.
So sorry for your trouble.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Ma belle I feel so sorry to read this!!!
I know how shoes can be important!!!
But are you sure??? There's no hope that they can show somewhere???
Sending you a big warm hug and lots of love.
xoxo
OMG! I really can't imagine it. The loss of your show collection is so tragic and so personal. I have no idea of what words to offer in solace. Hugs.
This is absolutely a capital L LOSS.
Either there is a woman in a new house somewhere saying "Whose shoes do I have???" or a mover with a serious fetish.
I wish I could take you out for tea and then shoe shopping.
Oh man, not only are shoes cute/sexy/obligatory, they also are very sentimental to ME as well. I cannot part with shoes easily, as I think of all the places I have trapsed in them.
Each time I've gotten rid of an out of date pair, I think, "Oh..but I walked in PARIS in those shoes..." etc etc.
I am so sorry for your loss, but at least it wasn't photos or videos.
This is truely devastating news Belette - did you go and look too or was it just the he-weasel? I just know that as much as you love him, men are notoriously bad at finding stuff (himself can't see anything past the first row of stuff in the fridge or cupboard - it just doesn't exist in male eyes).
I do implore you to go and check for yourself. I understand how hard it can be to find great shoes that you love - it's not like you bought them all at the same time. THe right shoe sneaks up on you and finds you even when you're not looking, and insists on following you home.
What a disaster!
Go back to the comments on "22 things" and read my response.
As for the loss of your shoes, you have my deepest sympathy. Seriously, that sucks big time. Sending you fabulous shoe vibes!!
Also, perhaps it is your muse telling you to buy orange shoes and purple boots!
I would be seriously effected if that happened to me... I have quite a shoe collection, myself... Not as much, but what I have, I cherish.... I do feel your loss and I'm really sorry about it. It's not just a monetary loss, but a sentimental one... shoes that had meaning to you... I am truly sorry.... : (
Lost shoes is the saddest kind of news for a woman!! Especially when they're lost pretty shoes and not just lost ugly painting sneakers! Man, I hope someone out there has got some real pretty feet otherwise it's a total waste!
Oh no!! The only similar loss I can conjure to try and understand what you're feeling is my old laptop dying so no more pictures from the past 4 years. It really is a huge sentimental loss, like Leesa said, and I'm so sorry! But the memories are still there, tucked away safely, right? And perhaps next season everyone will have all the perfect shoes and shopping will be great!
I was upset when I read about your lost ornaments..very sad.
Oh my god, I have real anxiety pangs in my chest reading that. Jesus Belette! When will the bad stuff end? Couldn't the gods at least leave you your SHOES?
I'm really feeling for you here, and you know from one shoe gal to another that I really really mean that. Poor you. Parcel on way.
XX
And as for an argument that you are not cursed - what I have found in my life, is that sometimes, out of the real crappola, something great comes - so I know that since you've had such a terrible time this year, in direct contrast to the utter awfulness, something so magnificient, so fabulous, so enormously wonderful is on your way!
They were yours. That's enough reason to be sad.
The year we moved to the desert our house flooded (yes, in the desert) and we lost all of our Christmas ornaments and these wonderful homemade stockings that were a wedding gift. I totally get it.
To this day it pisses me off.
But shoes? THAT IS PERSONAL!
I thank you all for your lovely condolences and sincere empathy. I realize that I am still in shock. I am having PTSD flashbacks of shoes that I realize I will never ever see again. I just honest and truly cannot believe it.
I would feel better if I was sobbing, screaming or yelling. I am just in total shock and denial.
I hope whoever has found them wears a 9.5 and has great taste in shoes.
I don't even know what to do. I just cannot imagine how much money and time went into accruing that collection and how much time and money it will take to build another one. I have no idea where to begin. I am serious. I just feel gutted and totally overwhelmed.
I really appreciate you all understanding how much these shoes mean to me and how big the loss is. I really appreciate it. I told my mother and my in-laws and the response was if I had lost something of no significance.
Thank you all. The fact that you get it really helps and it helped me to cry about it and I think that is a good thing.
I feel sure that He-weasel scoured every corner of the storage 4-5x's. He would have rather lit himself on fire than to have to tell me that my shoes were gone. He really gets it.
What the f else is going to happen? I feel like Job in the old testament only with no possibility of restoration. How bad does it have to get? What is next? I have to say I am a little scared and almost feel like I am on Candid Camera and they are waiting to see what will make me totally lose it.
Thanks for letting me vent. Love you all.
xoxo
What the fuck size are you????
blog care parcels will follow.
xx
I am a 9.5, sweet Hammie. Really, the thought is lovely enough.
xoxo
Oh, that is truly rough. Of course, the shoes were beautiful, they were practical, they've "transported" you, they've brought you back to other times and places.
And yet - try to work with me here - you now have space in spades. Space to acquire new shoes that take you new places and create new memories. Space to walk barefoot on fluffy carpet and dewy grass - and the occasional hot coal...
Eventually, all the scales (and the soles - and the souls) fall away. You have adjusted to so many losses and here is one more. One more opportunity to learn some huge lesson that the universe seems hell-bent on heaping on you right now. This is in no way fair but I truly don't believe you are cursed. I think you are blessed for having the resources to keep on keeping on.
And I am hunting for the perfect new gift of 9.5 shoes.
I know how heartbreaking losing things you love. Amidst the other important things (fire, people losing lives to fire, storm etc etc)we have to give ourselves some ME time as well. Not for selfish reasons but for dealing with OUR pain as WE live in our world, not those people who've lost their homes.
Losing shoe collection is enough to warrant emergency for me.
I think I'm officially cursed too. 2008's not been a good year after all.
MIss LBR, I am *so* sorry!
For us there is a special magic attached to shoes that men just don't have or care about. It just is.
And to have that gone is awful, really, really wretched. I'm sorry.
The most I can do is send a cyberhug, but that isn't going to help much, I know.
tp
*(&^&%^$&%#%^**%#!$%T^Y
EXPLETIVE.
EXPLETIVE.
EXPLETIVE.
EXPLETIVE.
EXPLETIVE.
I'm so sorry La Bel. That is incredibly awful.
I hope the tide turns on your shoe shopping. It has to. It simply must.
Holy crap balls! I don't even know what to say...You have hit the point where you can only do what my husband and I call "the laugh of the damned"...it's so freakin' unbelievable that you laugh because you can't cry anymore.
Everything about the "cursed" situation sucks. And I'm sorry. You don't know me, but my heart truly aches for you.
~Just Ducky
F*&&^^%$^RIT!
That's tragic. So so sorry to hear that. I think you have all the reason to be sad.
You will then have to start all over? grrr.
I can't begin to fathom this. Of course I'm assuming you've already backtracked to movers etc on the wildest of possibilities that there is a box sitting somewhere, unclaimed. my soles ache for you.
Thanks all for sharing my pain---I don't feel solely alone after your lovely notes. Thanks for all the cursing. It helps. And, Just Ducky, I think I am starting to get to the point of doing the laugh of the damned. It is strangely comforting to know that I am not the only one to laugh this laugh.
We have done everything we can to track down this box and it is GONE.
I truly don't know where to start rebuilding my shoe wardrobe. I am totally overwhelmed. Maybe I will post what shoes I have left and ask you to tell me what shoes I need. I would regularly know this. But, I am in freakin' shoe shock.
If anybody wants to go shoe shopping for me I am available. It seems I have a new hobby. I am a shoe shopper.
Note to Lynn: I just cannot accept the idea that you are cursed. It hurts my very soul. 2009 has to be better for us. There is no other option.
Note to K.line: Thank you. I am trying to hold onto this. Marsi, you said the same thing. I am just floored by this. Really, there are just three things I hold as dear and I fear that Kali/the goddess of F.U. is coming for those next.
I'm really not sure which is worse - losing a lifetime's supply of lovingly selected Christmas ornaments, or all your favourite shoes. Both are pretty painful. I can sort of relate to the former because when we moved back to Australia from overseas, Customs destroyed most of our Christmas ornaments because one of them contained some sawdust or something. But it was hardly a big collection. The shoes... so, so hard to replace, and so expensive. My poor Belette! xxx
It's so awful when you lose something like this.
Talking of curses, I've had a money plant (also known as a Jade plant or Crassula Ovata - you know, then kind displayed in Chinese restaurants to symbolize prosperity) ever since I went freelance as an illstrator. It's thrived up to now but I think I left it outside too long and, after exposure to frosts, its leaves are curling up, bcoming crystalline and falling off. Can my career be far behind?
This IS serious! (no sarcasm intended)
I would be completely devastated myself at the loss of so many shoes. I hope you can eventually enjoying (and justify) shopping for new ones.
OH MY GAWD, that is horrible! I am totally commiserating with you and dammit, i wish you were a size 8 because i've got a pair of crazy boots from Alice + Olivia for Payless sitting in my office. I don't really think they're quite your style however...But I see a Fashion Herald size 9 1/2 giveaway in the near future!
horrors and holy imelda! i lost a beloved pair [of boots [bought in florence 8 years ago] at the gym and felt that sense of loss. i cannot imagine 45 pairs !.
i'm so sorry to hear.
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