I wasn't planning on posting a post today as it's Thursday and it is the day I see Igor. It is usually more than I can manage. However, I had something I had to tell you. I dropped a maxi pad at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I know. Horrifying.
Here's how it happened, I was standing in line and I pulled out my wallet and as I was distracted figuring out what size chai latte to get so I didn't notice that my "wrapped for my protection" winged maxi pad had made aviation history and flown out of my handbag and onto the floor. I paid, waited and I got my latte. I walked towards the door and that is when I saw it. I looked down and saw it and I thought to myself, "oh, some poor gal lost her maxi pad." As soon as I had the thought I recognized the sanitary covering to the pad. Shit. It was my pad. I was the poor gal. I walked right past it. I couldn't claim it. There were people standing right by it. Girls in pink flip-flops with French pedicured toes and a guy in work boots and a couple in sport sandals. Their feet were just inches away from it. I pretended not to see it. I just kept on walking as casually as I could until I was far-far-far away from my maxi-pad.
I fantasized that eventually a customer would complain about the sanitary pad on the floor. Jake, the barrista, would have to go over and pick it up and throw it away between making a decaf cappuccino and an ice blended mocha. It wouldn't be until much later that he would decide, when recounting the horrible story to his friends over beers of his maxi-pad moment, that his parents were right and that he should go to grad school and get serious about his life and quit the band and give two weeks notice to the Barrista in Chief.
My shame and humiliation has made a difference in someones life. Because of me Jake will have a real job and never-ever-ever have to pick up a maxi pad again. Well sure, once Jake graduates and marries he will have to make maxi pad, tampon and brownie runs for his wife and he will find himself in the aisle of the grocery store that he never before visited and when he does he will think of the maxi pad moment that changed his life forever.
Please make me feel even better by telling me a humiliating moment you have had. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I dropped a maxi pad at Coffee Bean and changed a life
Posts
83 comments:
So funny, Belette! Thanks for giving me my first laugh of the day. Someday, I'm certain, Jake will thank you too.
Embarrassing moment: Maybe the time I went to work (when I had an office job) with my skirt zipper undone in back and my bum apparent to all. This was when I lived in Phoenix, and because of heat didn't wear underwear with my pantyhose (they have a panty in them, right)?
An older man tapped me on the shoulder in the coffee room and told me about it. He said he had a daughter my age, and thought he should say something.
Don't worry!I have embarrassing moments all the time.Just this morning I was sitting at my desk,reading someone's blog,and started laughing,and out of nowhere,I let out a really loud fart.My 2 co-workers sit less than 10 feet from me.So yeah,that was my moment for the week.Hopefully,I mean there is still 3 and a half days left.
PS.once when I was still in high school,I dropped a tampon during lunch,just as we were walking past a bunch of people.And I actually had to pick it up,because I knew I would need it later in the day.Not good.
Hi Belette, Exactly the same happened to me a few days ago in Starbucks!!! But it was worse: I opened my purse (aka wallet) to get my SB card out and the pad was there in the middle of it and slipped down onto the biscotti, chocolate coind etc. I quickly grabbed it and put it back in my bag but it was too late. Barista and other customers around me were sniggering and whispering. I now hold my emergency pads in a separate pocket of my bag. So you see, you're not alone! Ciao. A.
While showing the bf's mom pictures of the new place, I went back one too far and fell upon a, ummmm, "sexier" shot of myself because I occasionally send things like that to him since he doesn't see me every day.
She didn't say anything, and I quickly started talking about what oven we should get, so maybe she didn't really see it. I think things that only you notice as embarrassing are the worst because you can't really laugh it off later, since no one else realizes what's going on.
...I have pulled out a tampon once when searching in my bag for my purse to get the credit card out, oh so embarrassing, so embarrassing! Darn these women's purses with the zillion things that must be stored in them. I am still embarrassed thinking of it. I did it right at the front counter.
Too bad you don't live in NC, those "first in flight" plates would have new meaning, no? ;-)
I haven't done anything embarrassing since the The Brown-Haired Girl Great Letter Caper of sixth grade.
Too Funny LBR !! I needed this to start my day! I'll try to recall something as I clean house today!
You should have picked it up and SMILED at the guy in work boots!
First, this made me smile - Belette on a Thursday! Next, this made me laugh out loud. Well told!
I have had countless embarrassing stories, but one over which I still blush happened at my old job. Employees were promoted (at that time) publicly in front of the whole company - it was like an afternoon of clapping. And all these employees who started at around the same time were promoted one season, so I sort of lost track of who was promoted and who wasn't.
Well, this one guy, who started at that same time as all those newly-promoted, and always did a fantastic job and was very friendly and helpful and all, called me up soon after the promotion event to discuss something work-related, and I interrupted our conversation with a hearty, "Oh! I nearly forgot! Congratu-LAY-tions! You de-SERVE it! You're the BEST!"
Shortly into the longish, awkward pause that followed, I realized that he hadn't, indeed, been promoted and was, in fact, quite bitter about it and would, perhaps, put in his resignation before the end of the month because of his frustration and embarrassment of being one of the few people not promoted.
"Oh!" I exclaimed before he could explain my ignorance, and then proceeded to dig myself in deeper and deeper, "but you totally should have been promoted because you deserve it... more than the others... you're the best..."
I am blushing as I type.
Oh god, too many to mention or even remember....
Two examples spring to mind though. Years ago when I was a kick-ass business woman, with 80s shoulder pads and heels, I was in a very important meeting with a major customer. Imagine my horror when I called him 'Darling' for some reason. I couldn't take it back, and so I just stared at him for eons while the word hung in the air, until finally someone else spoke.
Or, when I was leaving a company I had worked at for almost 10 years I went around saying goodbye to everyone. I saw the old guy, Albert, who was the handyman and a lovely bloke, and so I wanted to make sure I got to shake his hand. "Goodbye Albert, it's been lovely working with you." He said, "something I've been meaning to tell you, my name's George."
For 10 years I had been cheerily calling him by the wrong name and he had never corrected me. The shame.
baaaaahahahahah ....omg such a great story ...I'm sorry it was at your expense but it was worth it for this post ...well, and for Jake, of course.
This didn't happen to me but did to a friend of my mother's in London during WWII when ladies underwear just had elastic at the waist. She was stylin' down Oxford St. on a busy afternoon when there were off duty soldiers and sailors everywhere passing the time of day and ogling the girls. Her underpants elastic broke and they slipped to the ground. What did she do? Naturally enough, she stepped out of them and kept walking and heard cheers and applause in her wake.
Good story, Belette :-)
Hah! Oh, I love it.
OK, when I was in high school I worshiped Douglas Adams. Went to a book signing with a friend and, in true high-school-girl manner, we'd decided to add the prefix "quasi" to words but with the intended meaning of "extra" or "super" instead of the ACTUAL meaning. So I told Douglas Adams, to his face, that he was "quasi-cool."
Awesome.
My, my, could we write a book about these things. How about bra pads slipping out of the bathing suit top? Ah? Good one.
Thank God someone else knows the truth: they *do* take wing and fly, unprovoked.
I must preface the following story by explaining ia had a more-than-sheltered upbringing. Blindingly so, followed by an even more isolated 9-years-from-hell situation we don't discuss.
So flash forward into my late 20's, understanding I was still dumb as a stump in many ways, as we share my Worst-Moment-Ever: I took a gag gift I had been given for my birthday and showed it to everyone at the TV station where I was an intern.
I mean, I paraded it through the *entire* newsroom, and also felt the need to share it with a few folks in the engineering department, sales... the whole damn station. I thought it was a very cool gift with a high cute factor.
There were two problems with this:
1) I had no idea it was a gag gift;
2) It was a vibrator.
I have since learned this item was referred to as a pocket-size, or personal-size, but WTH difference does that make when a late-20-something is walking around an entire building with hundreds of employees showing them her VIBRATOR?
This far transcends the two older brothers putting me in the clothes dryer when I was three. And turning it on.
Perhaps this helps explain a few things about The Princess....! (Heh-heh-heh.)
Lord, I had not thought of this particular horror and humiliation for years. Decades. I may need my own appointment with Igor after dredging this up. LBR, does he do a group rate?
With that happy thought, g'bye until next time.
tp
How horrible, yet oh so funny. I have too many embarrassing moments to count. One time, when I was walking Warfield he decided to stop in the crosswalk and take a poop. The light changed and I was practically dragging him to the sidewalk as he was still hunched over trying to go potty. People were laughing at as they watched him...yeah they were laughing at him not me!
sallymandy: I do think Jake would thank me if he knew that the maxi pad was mine.
Oh, honey, that is a doozy. It would have been better if a woman had told you. Poor you. I guess these moments are character building.
Penny: Farting at work. Oh, you are a brave and honest woman for sharing that. I hope you have nice coworkers.
I cannot imagine how awful you must have felt having to pick up that tampon. In high school so many things are soooooooo embarrassing. I wouldn't even buy underwear when I was in HS as I thought it was deadly embarrassing.
Antonella: Oh, honey!!!!! OMG, isn't it humiliating? I feel for you. It would be better if we have had someone there with us to laugh with us. Like you, I am going to from now on keep the feminine hygiene products in a separate compartment.
Andromeda: Gasp! Oh, I know your pain. A million years ago I had a Human sexuality class and I had a file of bookmarked sights for the class under the header "sex". Well, my father in law was on my computer and went into my bookmarks and saw that header. I was horrified that he would had imagined the worse and not that these links were academic in nature.
MrsLittleJeans: Why does it always happen when people are looking? Why couldn't we have our humiliating moments in private? Oh, I guess if no one was there it wouldn't be humiliating.
Randal: Orville and Redenbocher( or was it Wilbur) would have been amazed to see a maxi pad fly.
A commemorative plate of this flight is something too painful and postmodern for me.;-}
Somehow I doubt that you have gone that long without embarrassment. No one can go that long without shame and humiliation.
Carol: I lack the chutzpah to pick up a pad in a public place. I blush just thinking of it.
Yes, please, think of something and get back to us. You had to have had one embarrassing moment. If you don't I can give you one of mine.;-)
Sara: Thank you. I had to turn this tragedy into humour or it was going to torment me.
I feel your pain. Don't you wish you could just hit the rewind button in moments like that? Was he nice about it?
OMG these stories are hilarious. Belette, you did the right thing. If you don't acknowledge a thing it really didn't happen.
Now that is one perfect way to take a lemon and squeeze delicious lemonade from it.
How's this for making you feel better....wait, it's too long so why don't I just blog it and you can come on over and read it.
Thank you for the inspiration. (Hey, I did blog it 2 years ago. Repost!!!!)
notSupermum: Oh, I have had that kind of inappropriate endearment happen too. Yep, I have called people in business situations "Honey" and "Sweetie" and for days after had the unpleasant taste of foot in my mouth.
I had a therapist I called by her wrong name for three years. It was just by one letter but it was still embarrassing.
Maegan: I feel like all my pain was worth it if I could make Jake's life a little better.
susan: I admire her verve and boldness.What a fantastic story.
Thanks, Susan.:-)
Sal: I have the most embarrassing Douglas Adams story of all time. I wrote him a letter, in essence, that he shouldn't feel bad about his sophmore slump after Gen-X. I so hope he got a good laugh out of it. I only wish I had a good excuse like drugs to blame the letter on.
One of my most humiliating moments happened during this very fancy dinner party. Lots of glasses and fancy silverware...
I was talking to this very important politician sitting next to me and I managed to hit my vodka glass... I just went thinking "Do something fast!!!!" The only thing I could think of was touch the vodka puddle with the tips of my fingers and use it as perfume saying: "For good luck"
That brought about ten women to my place wanting to share my good luck using my now wasted vodka as perfume... They were all smiling and I thanked all the Gods for the distraction...
lakeviewer: Yes, let's compile all our shameful moments and make a book "Chicken soup for the blushing soul."
thepreppyprincess:I think I will get the wingless ones and see if they are less mobile.
Come over, darling Princess, I will share my session with you. Oh, honey bunny, I wish I could time travel and have interrupted your worst-moment-ever.
Older brothers sound so bad that they make me glad I was raised as an only child. Yes, come on over. We can do lunch after Igor.
Hugs to you, darling you!xo
L: Schadenfreude does make people laugh. I promise I wouldn't have laughed at either of you. I would have helped you pick up your puppy or the poop. I hate it when Lily poope on the sidewalk instead of the grass!!
Cindy Ann: I love how you think. Yes, it didn't happen. ;-)
Lisa: I do try to add a little sugar and water tot he lemons I am given otherwise they are just unpalatable.
I can't wait to see your moment of shame and humiliation. Oooh, I didn't mean it like that.;-)
My mother-in-law, the former junior leaguer, had "leakage" issues in her older years and carried her supplies (kotex) she called mouse pads in shopping bags. She particularly loved carrying them around in bags from exclusive stores (her friends actually sent her "collector" bags from around the country). She liked to fantasize about someone's reaction if they stole her stash. Still makes me smile. My personal expose was when I was in my last days of BIG pregnant and my wraparound no longer wrapped around my butt. A fellow shopper had to tell me that my dress wasn't as big as I was! Humility and humor, still not a bad combo.
Lena: You made your slip of the Vodka seem intentional and fabulous. You are GOOD!!!
home before dark: A leaguer with "leakage" is hilarious enough but then that she calls them mouse pads and carries them in chic bags. OMG!!! This is like something in a novel. LOVE this story.
Fashion interventions are always painful. I feel for you. But, yes, humour always helps to lessen the pain.
Well, at least it fell out of your purse and not your PANTS!!!
Perfect heading, I wonder how many stray google searches that will catch out!
When I was in the sixth form I was a complete slob and would often wear the same jeans two or three days running. (I hang my head in shame)
Of course on at least one occasion my knickers from the day before would slowly descend without my knowledge until another student would screech "Oh my God are those your knickers" If it was a boy who saw I would be frozen with mortification, now of course I would say "Yes, do you want to keep them"!
OK, honestly, this is nothing, I promise! I mean, I've dropped tampons out of my bag in front of my (male) boss and coworkers. And, to be honest, I didn't so much care. I mean seriously, what do they think we do?
You may recall my humiliating moment of a few months ago when I tried to take the gorgeous coffee shop guy's photo but forgot the camera and then suggested that I wasn't trying to pick him up cuz I'm married. And then held up my ring finger (why??) and realized I'd forgotten my ring too. Way to be a bad street style blogger cum stalker. Now that's humiliating!!
whahaha...
too funny! My friend had a "Do Not Disturb" sticker on her backside during an international flight! Scandalousss... Great session w your Beverly Hills man today dear!
Oh how lovely to know how human we all are.
Perfectly imperfect!!
There was a meeting the other day at work and whilst we were all filing up the stairs to the meeting room there was an unwrapped maxi pad lying awquardly on the the floor, so fear not LBR, you were not alone..
As for me, like everyone there are many..
How about the one where I farted on my boyfriends leg (quite loudly) whilst we were snoozing one morning. We had only shared a bed twice at that time, so as you can imagine, my shiny new girlfriend persona was lost in the moment.
I completely ignored that I had done it, so did he..
It has now become the central topic when he decides its time to tease me these days.
bah!!! i love that you ignored it!!! haha hahahha!!!
ok, once i was at work rustling around in my bag trying to find a tampon. i didn't know it, but my boss had snuck up behind me to see what i was up to. i think he thought i was looking for drugs or something in my bag. anywhoo, he totally scared me when he said my name from right behind my back and it caused me to simultaneously jump and fling my tampon across the room. he was such a jerk, and i think he was more embarrassed than me. fucker.
one more tampon story for ya, if you can stomach it: http://drollgirl.blogspot.com/2009/05/burning-in-hell-landlord-and-property.html
i also have
oh my dear, this is so funny, especially how you decided to completely ignore the stupid thing! I have no wonderfully awful moments coming to me at the moment but when I do, which I am sure I will because of being asked for one, I will be sure to come back and tell you and your 175 readers all about it! ;)
This post really conjured up mental pictures . . .
I wish that you had left a video camera to film the (eventual) maxi pad pick-up. Idea for a documentary?
Your version was a nice thought, though.
hehe.. I'll tell you my best friend embarrassing moment from Hell just a few days ago. She competed in a mother 100 yards run at her daughter track meet. They went 'on your mark, get set, go..' she was so pumped that she leaped forward but her legs did not follow. She ended up a few yards away from the starting line on her stomach with her shorts at her ankles! a true story.
corine/hidden in france
Hahahahaha. Thanks for sharing LBR. You definitely did Jake a service for which he should be forever grateful!
I loved this story! Put me right in your shoes.
Embarrassing story? hmmm...I can think of a few things that will cause me utter humiliation should they ever come to light...oh gosh, why was I so foolish in college? But something I don't mind revealing, the top button of a pair of pants once popped apart, forcing me to rebutton them in the middle of a crowded cafe. I try to laugh about it now...
I have something for you on my blog.
Please go and check it.
xoxo
And I’ll be back…
That is ABSOLUTELY hilarious... I love how maxi pads save the youth of the world!
Once at a costume party I was Marilyn Monroe... of course I had a FEW... and I was laughing so hard I filled my head forward and my wig fell off on the floor... hair under a wig is NOT pretty. I of course did not leave it on the floor to save someone's life... LOL!!!
Ah, Belle! So funny! Thank you for telling it so well!
I have a nice share of my own embarrassing moments. Among my favorites is the time I went to a waterpark and down a long waterslide/watertube. You know where this is going: I emerged on the other side of the high-velocity tube with my strapless bathing suit around my waist.
Amid the giggles and gaffaws, some kind soul tossed me a towel.
I think back and now I know that it would have been wayyyyy worse if that happened now. It's twenty-something years later, I'm several sizes bigger, and gravity is less kind.
I was so inspired by your candor, I posted another one at my blog, too. You know, I've been laughing about these all day. Thank you! I'm actually enjoying all the cringey memories of myself.
love,
Kirie
I didn't notice that my "wrapped for my protection" winged maxi pad had made aviation history and flown out of my handbag and onto the floor.
OH MY GOSH!! I am laughing WITH you!
PS Maybe I will share my embarrassing story at my blog someday! Sadly, I was lacking the winged protection in a foreign country...
I once called the guy I was smooching Kevin. Too bad his name was really Keith. Oh well, he was a lousy kisser!
Since I'm on my way to bed...I now have visions of maxi-pads running through my head. Actually it would be the expressions on other people's faces.
O.M.G. This is hilarious. I am literally laughing my ass off right now. Very funny stuff, thanks for making my night complete!
WendyB: I would have died on the spot if that had happened.
Indigo16: I fear what kind of searches this post will attract.
It is amazing how with time we come up with the perfect come back. Sometimes it takes decades.;-)
K.Line: You win the prize for most embarrassment in the name of blogging. That had to be a bad moment. Have you seen him since?
Oh yeah,----I brought something out of my purse once----and not one, not two, but about five tampons popped out and went all over the counter. You know, the small bullet type ones---it was very embarrassing to say the least.
which embarrassing moment to share? There are just so many of them.
Like the time when I was 16 and was getting off the school bus, walking from the back seat all the way down the aisle to the front door after chatting to a cute boy I liked, got home to discover my maxi pad with no wings had leaked and I had a big old blood stain on the back of my green school uniform?
Like the time when I was 16 and decided that I wanted to pluck my eyebrows but it hurt too much, so I got out a razor and proceeded to accidentally shave off half my eyebrow, then every day before school I'd cut off some of my hair, and glue it onto my eyebrow with wood glue and hope like hell no one noticed (I spent a lot of time talking to people in profile until it grew back).
my life is a litany of embarrassments.
LENORENEVERMORE: Do not disturb is pretty funny and yet it is good advice. No one should disturb you as you fly.:-)
pplongstocking:There is something terribly shocking about seeing a tampon or a pad in an inappropriate place. I am not sure why that is and yet it is.
Poor you, it should be months and months before you fart in front of your boyfriend. And if you do he should have the grace to feign deafness. It must be love if you forgive him his remembering.;-)He must be a great guy.
drollgirl: I wouldn't have claimed that pad if someone told me outright they had seen it fall from my purse.
Your boss is lucky you didn't impale him with tampon. What a jerk.
I will be by to see your other tampon story.
Linda: You are lucky that nothing humiliating enough has happened to you that it immediately comes to mind.
Bee: Ooh, that would be a great documentary. Or it would be a short one if someone just picked it up and threw it away.
Corine: That poor woman. I bet she never runs a race again. For her sake I hope she wasn't wearing a g-string.
Iheartfashion: Jake so owes me!;-)
Cheryl:I am sure we all have done things in college we are glad there was no Youtube to catch. I know I did.
The Seeker: Thank you. I will. Yes, please do come back!:-)
xo
Fifi Flowers: Just think what I could do with a case of tampons.;-)
Ha-ha!! You did a Cloris Leachman. Did you see her wig come off on Dancing with the Stars? It was fantastic!!
Kirie: Note to self: Always wear a bathing suit with significant straps when going down water slides. Bless that person who helped you out.
I will come over to your blog to see your other cringable moment.I am happy my humiliation inspired a post.:-) xo
The Things We Carried:It was so awful and yet now it is funny. Aaaaah, the gift of distance!
Oh, the horror of being without the winged ones when you really need them.
Comedy Goddess: Was Kevin a better kisser than Keith?;-)
themom: I think mild disgust might the expression on their faces. I am happy I never saw the look.
Sweet dreams!!
TopSurf: I am sorry to make you assless but I am happy to give you a good laugh!!!!;-)
Shawn: Five? Poor you. OB's are the most embarrassing somehow. There is something so literal about them. Or is that just me?
Imogen:Oh,the things that happen when we are young that sting the most. Don't you think? There are things that happened in high school that when I think of that I can still blush with embarrassment.
I am amazed at your resourcefulness with your brows. I would have never thought to make my own brows like you did. You are brilliant!
I guess if we can laugh at these things they lose their sting. I know that as soon as I wrote about this event my shame instantly disappeared.
If the Barista was a woman would you have cared? No, she would have understood and had some sympathy.
Men are like children as far as these 'feminine products' go.
Imogen: You are so right. Something about feminine hygiene products really do freak men out. I wonder what that is really about.
OH MY GOD. As soon as I stop laughing I will tell you about a mortifying moment. So, I will spare everyone the shameful details but I once wound up being an inadvertent magician to a disapppearing condom and a boyfriend. Unfortunately, I provided the hiding place. That's all I'm going to say about that.
And oh... I posted a blog award for you.
KT: I too have made a condom disappear. That is not as embarrassing as my gummy bear story that I will never-ever-ever tell. Okay, maybe one day when we meet and there are lots and lots of margaritas.;-)
Thank you, gorgeous!! You shouldn't have but I am glad you did.;-)
xo
Oh, so so funny, I actually laughed out loud reading this! My embarrassing moments are sporadic but very often. I am that person. :-) The ones that come to mind are a little bit naughty to write here! Haha!
sorry for horrifying you! oh the joys of womanhood.
You are hillarious!!!
I think Lisa at That's Why tops the cake with a related story on her blog...which she blames you for incidentally...
OMG! I'm laughing so hard! Once while trying on shoes at the mall I rolled up a pant leg to see how the shoe looked. I forgot to roll the pant leg down and spent a significant amount of time at the mall with one pant leg rolled up and one down. And when I say rolled up, we're talking mid calf.
Gol' DANG that was a good read, La Bel.
Best read of the day!
Oh, I haven't, I'm just not telling. ;-)
parlezvouskiwi:Hey, no need to edit on our account!;-) The naughty embarrasing moments can be the worst!!!
drollgirl: That man was a freak. Who twirls around a used T? Nastiness. Poor you. That must have been horrible.
Maryam: I love that I made you laugh in Marrakesh.:-)
♥ Braja: Lisa's story was hilarious ( with time) at the moment I am sure it was the worst.
Bonjour Madame: I have never done the two lengths of pants but I have worn two different shoes all day long. Yep, I do get dressed in the dark.
enc: Well, thank you!!!!! That is high praise.
Randal: Hey, we are discreet. Feel free to spill your shameful moments here with us. We won't be laughing at you, we will laugh with you.:-)
My most embarrassing moment would be identical to yours, though set in the line at the grocery store. It's a bit of a family tradition, I'm afraid. Similar stories (Norwegian "spruk")have been told for years at family gatherings of my mom and aunt inadvertently throwing pads while attempting to extract items from their purses. Occupational hazard?
Oh so funny, Belette. I would have walked away as well, even if the fingers of accusation had been pointed my way.
I think my most embarrassing moment came on a cruise a few years ago. I had gotten my period during the day, and it was unusually heavy. At the time I was on coumadin for some minor complications following a repair of a heart defect. I had told my cardiologist about the periods but she insisted that it was impossible that the coumadin could make my periods heavier. She also neglected to give me any information about the coumadin or tell me that I should not be drinking while I was on it.....but back to the cruise.
We were having a good time and we had a formal dinner that night. My period had been very heavy, but I thought I would be okay if I doubled up on protection and used as many maxi and minipads as possible while still being able to walk, and so I went to dinner. At some point near dessert, after several glasses of wine, I felt wet and looked down to see a red stain creeping up toward the front of my dress and on the sides of the upholstered chair at the table. I was completely mortified. My husband and our companions thought we should adjourn to the bar, and I kind of fiddled around asking for more coffee, trying to delay the inevitable. DH was getting grumpy so I kind of whispered to him that I had a problem and asked him to wait until the dining room was cleared and get our waitress.
Well, my dress and probably the chair were ruined and there was a stain on the carpet. Luckily we managed to linger until most of the other passengers had left the room and I fled to our cabin wrapped in big robes from the pool.
It was a cruise on a small boat with only about 80 passengers and you always saw the same crew who doubled up doing various tasks. I was mortified every time I had to go to a meal and spent much of the rest of the cruise in our cabin.
Oh, and I stopped taking my coumadin, which was fine because we were near the end of the cruise anyway and when I got home they ran my protime and it was so high they put me right in the hospital and I found a new cardiologist.
I was so mortified that when my husband wanted to take another cruise on the same boat I couldn't do it.
On a lighter note I used to have nightmares that I wore my slippers out in public and then one day I did wear them to the grocery store. I noticed while I was in the checkout line, and I could have died but I just acted normal. I don't have dreams about slippers anymore, and I wear nicer slippers too, just in case.
Effie May: It is a comfort to know that I am not the only one who has sent maxipads flyings. I guess the problem is that they are so darn aerodynamic.;-)
Mardel: Dear, you!!!!!!!!!! OMG, if I had a golden maxi pad award to give for the most embarrassing moment in the comments I would give it to you. That had to be awful. I bet you wished you had been on one of those cruise ships with 10,0000 people.
Were you feeling okay on the cruise? That cardiologist was awful. I am glad you got another one.
Your slipper story is so funny. Maybe your dreams were predictive and once it happened you didn't need to have it anymore.
hysterical. i love what you did with this incident. LOVE it.
new job, first day of work, split my pants, complete with gag sound effect and all.
and of course i've walked into mirrors and uber-clean glass doors, etc.
Oh, so many embarrassing moments - once I basically walked into a wall during a fashion show in front of the head of PR and the designer, Dana Buchman. Even Dana looked at me like "WTF?"
You crack me up!
That was probably the emergency pad that saved some poor woman with leakage's life. She was reluctant, but it was "wrapped for her protection," and who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth?
My most embarrassing moment: The time I made a presentation to an auditorium-full of delegates at my first major scientific conference. Despite nerves etc I got through the presentation and question time, and taking a deep sigh of relief I went to sit next to the chairperson and other presenters on stage, and when I looked down I saw that my zipper was undone and worse, my white shirt was sticking of the opening!! This would have been obvious to the first several rows of people. My dilemma then was how to zip up and not make it look like obvious...I closed my jacket, folded my arms and sank into deep embarrasment, to say the very least!
Hilarious! My sis in law (before we were sises in law) had run out of pads, used a wad of TP until her mom came back from the store...meanwhile, her younger brother screams bloody murder (no pun intended), "WHAT IS A KLEENEX WITH BLOOD ON IT DOING IN THE KITCHEN????"
it had fallen out of her undies and shorts, landed on the floor, unbeknownst to her.
up and down town: I hope you were wearing good underwear when you split your pants.
At least you didn't hurt yourself walking into glass doors( I hope). I have a friend who ran through one. It was BAD.
fashion herald: just for that I will boycott Dana. Just kidding. Oh, poor you, it must have been embarrassing.
Freida Bee: My fly away pad turned into a gift horse. Ooh, that would make it a Pegasus pad. LOL!!!
Mervat: Oh, honey! I am sure that the people in the front rows were so mesmerized by your presentation that they didn't see your peek-a-boo shirt tail.
Corfu Cuz! You're back!!! You know I am tickled pink to see you!! You know you have been missed.
Now to your story, OMGosh!!! That is soooooooo MUCH worse than the loss of my unused pad. Poor SIL.
So happy to see you!!:-)
xo
Oh my God! I have had that moment and others. Thanks for sharing your story, I will share one of mine.
During a movie premiere I was wearing a mini skirt (it was summer and I was much younger), here in California. I was at the front of the line and it was a long line...I was with about 10-12 friends. I went to the rest room and upon my return, I was facing my friends and had my back to the rest of the line. It was about 15 minutes before someone I did not know walked up to me and whispered in my ear: "I am sorry to bother you, but I have been watching you for the past 10 minutes and I can't take it anymore, someone has to tell you..."YOUR SKIRT IS TUCKED IN YOUR UNDERWEAR"!. If that was not bad enough, it was that time of the month for me and I was wearing my granny big girl underwear.
Anyway, not to self promote, but your story and mine and many others is why I have been working to develop my Discreet Line of bags to carry your time of the month supplies.
La Belette Rouge, I would love to send you a complimentary one so you NEVER have this happen again. email me ok and we can coordinate so I can mail you the one of your choice.
Post a Comment