#6-10 of 365 things that don't suck about L.A.

6. The Smoke House
I met a friend for lunch last week at this historic Burbank eatery. The Smoke House opened up in 1946, which is ancient according to L.A. standards. It is right across the street from the Warner Brothers Studio and blocks away from the Universal Studios lot. This place is the definition of old school. Really and truly I felt like I was in Madmen when I walked in. I expected Don Draper, Roger Sterling and Pete Campbell to walk in and order martinis and bloody rare steaks.


We sat in a vinyl red boot, a booth that big butts of fame have likely warmed. I bet Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Errol Flynn, Judy Garland, and Katherine Hepburn have at one time or another sat where I was sitting. The service was so good that made us wonder if the waiter thought we were celebrities. A photo girl came to our table and took our photo; I was for that moment imagining what it must be like to be Miley Cyrus. It was a nice change from restaurants where waitresses tell you their names and call groups of two or more, "guys".

At the table behind us where a bunch of old school Hollywood types guzzling martinis like Gatorade and slurping down oysters as if they had after lunch plans to meet their mistresses. I overheard one of the old school men ask the waiter for oyster crackers. Something about the oyster cracker request cracked me up. And, then there was a 60-something guy at a table across from us who ordered a steak sandwich and a scotch who gave me the eye.

We didn't have the Smoke House's famous Garlic cheese bread as I was there with a vegan friend who had a plate of steamed vegetables. FYI: This is not a place for vegans. As I am not a vegan I had the steak, blue cheese and arugula salad. If I had been there with my He-weasel I would have ordered the cheese bread and a martini or two. My salad was good, not great but good. But, quite frankly, I think that the ambiance makes up for any of the food's mediocrity.

I read that is a favorite place of George Clooney. And, I can so see him here. Sadly, I did not see him when I was there. But, I will be back and hopefully then I will see George and if not the cheese bread will make the trip worthwhile.

For visitors to L.A. let me tell you that if you want to see celebrities I would come to the Smoke House for lunch or dinner and skip the Hard Rock Cafe. Celebrities do not ever go to the Hard Rock Cafe.

7. Cheap nail salons
I am not sure why but I do think Southern California is the nail salon capitol of the world and because of that you can get a mani and pedi for $30. In any five block radius in L.A. I bet you would find at least six nail salons. In Chicago I paid $50 for a pedicure alone and it was not like the pedicure was so much better than the one in L.A., actually there were no fancy spa chairs in Chicago. It is true that I never use the massage chair because to me it feels like being hit by a sack of lemons, but I could use it if I wanted to.

Living in L.A. for so long has made me permanently cheap about manis and pedis. Every time I went for a mani/pedi in Chicago I griped internally that I had to tip almost as much as I had to pay for a manicure in L.A. I never took into consideration that housing was cheaper or that because my feet were in boots seven months out of the year I needed less frequent pedicures so amortized the Chicago pedicure was cheaper. No, my mind doesn't work like that and I am bad at math.

I go to Nina. I like Nina because I can 80% of the time understand her English and she is funny and is really fast. What I don't like about her is hearing how much she is making in real estate and in the stock market. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy Nina is doing so well. I only wish I was doing as well as my nail gal. Maybe I could get her to give some tips. Get it? Tips! Mwah-ha-ha!!!

8. Incredible orange skied sunsets that can only exist in places with lots of smog













9. L.A. International Airport
While my two favorite airports in the world are O'Hare in Chicago and Charles de Gaulle in Paris, for location alone. I do like LA airport, especially the departure level, as it reminds me that I can get out of here. I am not stuck. This is not the Hotel California. And, I do sort of like the 60's space age architecture that is the landmark Encounters Theme Restaurant. The interior is very Austin Power's meets the Jetsons.


10. L.A. area public bathrooms almost always have toilet seat protectors
I do usually squat but there are times when a gal wants to sit. In L.A. I can, if I chose, cover the public toilet seat with five seat covers. In Chicago I never-ever-ever saw a seat cover. I am not sure if it is illegal there or what. But, in Chicago squatting is the only option.

Photo of LA sunset comes from here.
Photo of LAX Encounters Theme restaurant comes from here.